Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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