so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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