jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
