the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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