i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
