we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
