so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
