she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
