Whod you bang
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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