as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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