I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
