swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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