He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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