Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
