I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
