I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
