he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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