But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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