Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
