I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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