so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
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And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
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Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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