we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize