She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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