im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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