I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Why is your signature on my underwear?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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