I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
