dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
