We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
How external is "for external use only"?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
