Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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