Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
