paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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