he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Randomize
