Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
