dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
