My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
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