Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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