i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
