also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I take back everything I said about communal showers
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The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
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But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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