I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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