WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
