I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
