Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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