whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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