The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize