after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
