I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
time to smoke my breakfast
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.