K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
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my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
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how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I still have a little drunk in my system