wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes