If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
