well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
