everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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