Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
