wake up i wanna do it froggy style
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
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We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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