I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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