mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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