whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
