The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
