I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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