I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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