This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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