Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
