Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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