Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
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